Have you felt de-motivated, irritable, lonely, or gloomy the last few weeks? What is it about the Merriest time of year that has so many feeling so dreary?
Isn’t this the Holly Jolly season? Aren’t we supposed to be full of CHEER?
As a Personal Fitness Trainer December is the month that I have to really gear myself up for each year. This is the time of year that we personal trainers have to really be emotional coaches for our clients. We have to recognize that things may not be as they seem. We have to read beyond those forced smiles and the “I am doing fine” comments from our clients. Especially when we start seeing their behaviors change. Maybe they come in late, maybe they cancel sessions, or maybe they seem a little on edge. Ironically, exercise which can boost endorphins and our moods is often one of the first victims of the Holly Jolly season.
Why? Our clients emotions are all over the map. Some clients are excited about having family home. They may be running all over the place working to create the PERFECT Christmas for their families.
But even the happiest of holidays create stresses that we do not feel the rest of the year. We are rushing around trying to find just the right gifts for our loved ones.
We stress out over what foods to prepare to make everyone happy at that party or family gathering. We have to get those decorations just right. We have to go to that holiday party and can’t find a dress that fits just right. We know their will be pictures taken and we are terrified by the thought of standing by skinny cousin Susan.
Moms and dads that are no longer together have to figure out what days they will get the kids this year and how to arrange their holiday schedules. The kids have to figure out how to spend time with everyone they love.
Others are single. The “holidays” are a reminder that they do not have a significant other or maybe the family they wish they had. Everywhere they go they hear about families and Christmas. All the while they feel lonelier, sadder, like something is wrong with them or that something must be missing in their life. And it may be surprising how difficult it can be to be around happy and festive people when you feel anything but.
Still others may be away from our family this year. We feel a sense of distance. Our families are alive and well but we miss being with them during this “family” time. Feelings of resentment creep in. Inevitably a friend will invite us to spend Christmas with her family. It is a kind gesture but nothing feels lonelier than spending the day watching someone else’s happy family open gifts and enjoy a meal together.
My Husband & his dad 1980
Finally some of us have lost someone special in our lives. Even if it was 5, 10, 30, 40 years ago, losses are magnified during this happy and jolly time of year. We know that our loved one will not be here to celebrate. Maybe we keep pushing it to the back of our minds so we don’t have to feel that loss all over again. Then we snap at our friends and family for no reason. We dread our family gathering this year and we aren’t sure exactly why. We have more illnesses, body aches, pains, fatigue, anxiety, and depression during the holidays. We may be unable to put a finger on why.
My husband lost his father and stepmother this past summer. Our holiday plans are very different this year. Thinking about who we are going to see without thinking about who we won’t be seeing this year is impossible. Even when we don’t realize it the sense of loss and loneliness keeps creeping into our thoughts everyday. It affects our motivation, our moods, our stresses, and our entire holiday experience.
While there is no magic elixir, recognizing the real reasons behind our holiday angst can help us deal with it in a healthier and more constructive manner.
And that is my wish for you this holiday season!
Until next time
P.S. Don’t forget to share your comments below. I would love to hear from you